Posts Tagged ‘meaningless possessions’
Monday, January 18th, 2010
After a long and painfully unfruitful period of silence, I find myself mildly interested in writing again.
Just like when the Jews were chased out of Egypt by Hitler and his pack of chariot-driving werewolves, I have served my time in the wilderness and am ready to enter the ‘promised’ land of locusts and honey. I must say, a locust and honey burger sounds very tempting right now.
On a less religiously controversial point, I have a new stapler. It is shiny and black.
More information on staplers:
“A stapler is a simple mechanical device used to join pieces of paper together. Staplers were invented. A stapler differs from a sticky tape dispenser in that it dispenses staples rather than sticky tape. Staplers come in different colours and are sometimes made of metal and plastic, which is in turn made of atoms. Atoms are very small, even smaller than ants. With the right tools, you can safely split an ant, but you must never attempt to split an atom.”
Tags: blogging, meaningless possessions
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Saturday, January 31st, 2009
I've got a 5 1/4" disk.
It’s been coming for a while now. Several months ago, as an inevitable result of delving into the design world, I started associating with people who were APPLE FREAKS. These are the people who hate Microsoft and love Apple. I’ve always shied away from these people because I’ve always considered them raving lunatics, but after a couple of months of being forced to use an iMac while sub-contracting, I started to come around.
My first computer was an Apple IIe (pictured), and I remember spending countless hours as a child staring at is hypnotising green screen and pounding on the yellowed keyboards. That was the beginning of the nerdy streak which still haunts me today.
So I’ve gone to the dark side. I bought an iMac a couple of weeks ago, and let me tell you that designing on this 20″ screen beats the shit out of designing on a tiny laptop. That thing was driving me crazy.
Not only that, but I’ve succumbed to the sexiness and scored myself an iPhone. Apart from the fingerprints, which kinda bug me, I think the thing is absolutely brilliant. See, it’s actually for my 30th birthday (which is tomorrow) so that’s my justification for the indulgence. Plus, I can check my emails out and about, so it makes sense business-wise. But mostly it’s about the sexy.
Tags: meaningless possessions
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Wednesday, October 15th, 2008
Yeah, the financial crisis is hitting pretty hard. This morning I only had 3 Weet-Bix instead of 4 and I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to cancel my pedicure appointment tomorrow.
Apparently, our Prime Minister is going to give a wad-load of cash to pensioners and first home buyers around Christmas-time. I’m neither of those things, so I’m feeling left out. I guess I’ll just have to cheat on my taxes.
As a small business owner I guess it’s possible that I might find myself running short of work as a result. Don’t people always need websites though? Wouldn’t everything be alright if everyone just relaxed and carried on as usual? Stupid panicky stockmarket investors! Stop panicking! STOP IT!!!
Anyhoo, I’ve run out of work just now so I’m going to stare at the wall for a bit. Actually that feels kind of good. I guess if the world went to shit I’d still have a wall to stare at. Or at least somebody else’s wall.
Tags: meaningless possessions, money
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Saturday, September 6th, 2008
I went on holidays and it was fun. Trish has a brand new nephew, so a couple weeks back we drove down to Port MacQuarie (or thereabouts) to stay with family for a week or so. Our first ‘family’ road trip with the dog went nicely and it was a pleasant drive. During the time we pretty much just sat around and stared at the baby, drinking beer & wine, eating, cooking and playing the Wii. Oh, and I also played ‘Settlers of Katan’ for the first time, and I like it. Also went clothes shopping, seriously needed to get my groove back.
We also splashed out and bought the Wii Fit a couple of days back, which is pretty cool. Surprisingly, you can actually get a decent amount of exercise jumping on that thing. My balance and posture really sucks so I’m gonna put in some hard yards and see if I can become the Yoga master.
Tags: family, holidays, meaningless possessions
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Wednesday, August 20th, 2008
I have had an interesting week. How about you? Hmm, interesting. Let me tell you more about my week.
First of all, we received GIANT tax returns which was extremely helpful. After returning from England, a ‘magical fairyland’ where we always had money, we discovered that money was in fact, extremely difficult to acquire once we were back in Australia. We made lots of silly decisions but I regret nothing. Anyway, so the tax returns were awesome to the tune of $7,000, which means we are now debt-free (apart from our mortgage).
Being a romantic bastard, I decided to surprise the wife, and whisk her away for a ’surprise’ dinner at a fancy restaurant. She was extremely pleased to hear that we were no longer paupers, and we proceeded to clink our glasses in ecstacy. But there is more to this story! Once back in the car I instructed the wife to open our glove box, where she discovered a Wii Controller. The Wii Controller conveniently connects to the new Wii which sits in our lounge room. My materialistic brand of romance knows no bounds!
Then we went and bought some clothes and frying pans and stuff and the money was gone. End of story.
Tags: meaningless possessions, money
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Monday, August 11th, 2008
Lots of people around me seem to be getting Wii consoles, so I must admit I’m suffering from an acute case of Wii jealousy. I need one - in fact, I must have one. Even the wife approves, which is no small thing. The Wii is WIFE FRIENDLY.
In fact, there are many wonderful reasons to purchase the Wii fit component as well. I would like to purchase this also please, Mr. Shopkeeper. Do you accept LINT?
I’m thinking the reason my wife approves of the Wii is because she keeps beating the shit out of me every time we play. I found myself strangely sore after a bout of boxing and tennis over the weekend, which is an embarrassing state of affairs.
On a related note, I’ve become extremely materialistic lately. My unbridled desire extends to the iPhone, as well as the iMac. Those two are business expenses though, and considering I’m not making much money as a freelancer yet, they’ll probably have to wait for a few months.
Tags: meaningless possessions
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Tuesday, April 15th, 2008
Breaking news:
This is a picture of me, riding carefully on my new ride-on mower. I ride it up and down and all around, all day long. Sometimes I wear a big hat, sturdy leather shoes, and a jumpsuit made completely of denim. I look very good in my jumpsuit made of denim.
I use it to cut the grass so that my new dog won’t get bitten by an Eastern Brown Snake which has recently been spotted on my property. The snake was in fact spotted indoors, and was spotted attacking the spotter in his shed while he comfortably watched Neighbours on television. This proves once and for all that the Eastern Brown Snake does not like people who watch Neighbours.
Tags: house, meaningless possessions
Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments »
Sunday, March 16th, 2008
I M GETN A NEW DOG
I M GETN A NEW CAR
YAY
Tags: dog, meaningless possessions
Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments »
Thursday, March 6th, 2008
On the 12th of January, I had a homecoming party. None of my old friends showed up except John. I was sad. Evidently slightly more effort will be required on my part to rekindle old friendships, and perhaps I need to make some more friends. Lots of Trish’s friends and mutual friends showed up, so it was still an OK party.
As the next couple of weeks wore on, my ego became slightly deflated as I realised that 99% of people are really not interested in what I’ve been doing in 2007. When we returned, everyone else was exactly the same, however I felt like I had been on a completely different planet for about five years. In fact, I felt like a different person, and assumed everyone else would also be different.
I also assumed everyone would be itching to gather around and listen to my travel stories, but everyone was the same, doing the same thing, and not particularly interested. I felt exhilarated, and excited about life, but everyone else seemed… bored. My greatest fears of returning to normal life were beginning to be realised, and I started to think that perhaps in fact, I should have moved to Canada. Shoulda coulda woulda.
Anyway, we have been enjoying the novelty of being back, catching up with old friends, living in our old house again, and appreciating all the great things about our old life. In stark contrast to our backpacker life, material possessions seem to have become the central focus of our existence. Among other things, we’ve puchased a car, a DVD player, two couches, and a microwave. Domestic bliss, here we come.
Speaking of which, I’d better go to work so I can pay for all this fancy crap.
Tags: friends, let's party, meaningless possessions
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Tuesday, February 12th, 2008
Freaking freakazoids. I’m still over a month behind with this blogging thing. Why won’t my life slow down? Here’s some January action comin’ atcha in stereo.
January 4th - After one whole year of backpacking and separation from everything familiar, we arrive back in Australia. We feel different, and excited about being home. The first thing we notice are the strange broad nasal accents over the airport loudspeaker.
“Paassngers on floight twoo-six-one ploise procoieed to gaate thiiiry-twoooo.”
Alarmed, we look at each other and say, “By jove, darling, what kind of primitive backwater is this place? They sound rather like dying cows.” After the initial shock of getting accustomed to the Aussie drawl, we also notice that everybody is dressed as though they’ve just come from the beach. A distant memory stirs in my mind as I recognise my old uniform - shorts and thongs.
My parents collect us from the airport and it’s great to see them. As I step outside, my skin starts to soak up the beautiful humid air I grew up in, and it feels good. Very good. The weather is tropical and my parents tell me it’s been raining for several weeks. Sure enough, it’s raining, but it’s warm. Home, sweet home.
That night, we drink beer, have a barbecue, show off our photos and enjoy some long overdue family time. I discover that now I’m back in Australia, I start to taaaalk a looot slooower.
5th - One of our top priorities when we got home was to buy a car.
After several email exchanges, we had arranged to buy my sister’s Land Rover from Sydney and drive it back up. True to form, we didn’t waste any time and flew down to Sydney to pick it up. Road trip time!
Once there, we enjoy some more family time with my sister, brother-in-law and their two young kids in Sydney. We’re pampered nicely, and we get to know our niece and nephew again.
But all was not peaches and cream, my friends! That night, I had the most awful dream. I believed there were two burglars in the house wearing animal masks. I could see one of them moving slowly in my room, and I see one moving about in the kids’ room. I wake up, and in the pitch black darkness I watch the figure creep to the corner and then stop. By this time, I am wide awake, frozen, sweating, with tears rolling down my face. I honestly believe there is someone in the house, and I decide to stay completely still until they leave. I fear that if I move, I will put the childrens’ lives at risk, not to mention our own. After several minutes of this petrified torture, I decide to fumble around quickly for the lamp switch, only to discover there is nobody in the room. I get up and check on the kids, and everything is normal. Spooky.
6th - More family time - we catch up with my Aunt and Uncle and a few cousins in Sydney. For the first time in over a year, I go for a swim. It feels good, and the back of my paper-white neck gets burned. I feel like an English tourist.
7th - Time for the road trip. We take our spanking new car and say our goodbyes, having enjoyed the trip but relishing a bit of time on our own. The car is solid, comfortable, and drives easily. An excellent car for a road trip. We take in some of the beautiful Australian scenery and have a good old yarn. Trish’s brother is renting a new (unoccupied) house in Port MacQuarie, so that’s our first port of call.
It’s an easy drive, and after arriving in the afternoon we have enough time to warm up the credit card and do a bit of shopping. After being denied certain luxuries and having to trim down on all our possessions for the previous year, we badly want stuff. Lots of stuff. We need new phones so we get the Nokia 6070 - nice and simple. I need a razor, so I get a good quality electric one. I also stop into Dick Smith’s and buy an FM transmitter for the iPod so we can listen to tunes on the road. After a good Aussie pub meal we go back to the house to play with our new toys.
8th - Today’s a big driving day and we go all the way past the Gold Coast to Trish’s brother’s house. More family moments, this time with a different set of niece and nephew. We drink beers and catch up.
9th - Big Wednesday. The day we move back into our house. We polish off the rest of the kilometres and arrive back at our magnificent Queenslander on 1 acre at the Sunshine Coast. We’re fretting about the tenant and really, really, really hoping they cleaned the house properly.
Unfortunately our fears are realised when we open up the house and discover that the place is nowhere near a rental tenancy standard clean.
We’ve had lots of experience renting places before, and we know how strict the agents are - unfortunately we’re the agent so it’s our problem. We also want to move into our house immediately and get on with our lives, but unfortunately the house will need to be cleaned beforehand. After some interesting phone discussions, the tenant agrees to pay for a cleaner and we get one to start immediately. Even so, Trish and I are destined to spend the next three days and several subsequent weekends cleaning in our spare time. Pooh pooh!
Tags: family, house, meaningless possessions
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Hello, I'm Afe.
