Posts Tagged ‘food’
Tuesday, April 6th, 2010
I’m not sure if it’s my impending fatherhood, or my recent watching of many episodes of Mad Men, but I’ve been recently obsessed with Scotch, and more specifically with the consumption of Scotch, and its purest form, that delicious and delightful drink, Scotch on the Rocks.
While the wife was trying on bras in a maternity shop yesterday, I was in the bottle shop next door, scratching my patchy stubble and staring at bottles of Scotch and wondering what they tasted like. Yes, rather than the usual indulgence of peeking through curtains for a glimpse of skin (that’s normal, right?), I was tenderly touching bottles and reading labels like they were poetry.
I am curious about the drink, its origins, and my own reasons for drinking the bloating and burp-inducing beer on most occasions instead of something more refined and delicious. There is a culture here that equates the consumption of beer with manliness, so much so that at the age of eleven I stole a beer from Dad’s fridge and forced myself to drink it alone with my dinner, despite the protests of my palate and my very small stomach. The beer ruined my dinner and was pointed at and cursed, set aside and earmarked to be poured down the sink later and the evidence destroyed.
Of course, that’s not to say that beer is bad, or undelicious, it’s just that my eleven-year old self preferred to eat that horrid plastic cheese folded into squares, and drink chocolate milk rather than drink something bitter. I’m guessing that’s the grand thing about acquired tastes like oysters, and beers, and chili, and olives, and sushi and all those lovely adult things, that the young ones will leave you alone long enough to enjoy it, and all you need to do to get rid of them is offer them a taste.
So certain things have become clear to me; that blue cheese is strangely delicious, and that good wine is equally delicious if you can afford it, and that the two together are quite the pair if you’ve got the brass razoos to rub between your bony fingers. A good book is also delicious if I can force myself to read it instead of watching Seinfeld, and Scotch on the Rocks is refined and delicious and it beckons to me from the cupboard on certain nights when the mood is good in the lounge room.
Tags: beer, food
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Friday, December 14th, 2007
Tags: food
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Tuesday, November 27th, 2007
I am a domestic god! I’ve got the clothes washed, the dinner cooked, the dishes done and now I’m rockin’ out to some Creedence, all before my wife even gets home from work. Could I possibly be the sexiest husband ever?
Speaking of sexiness, our 5-year anniversary date went pretty well. We started out with a leisurely smoked salmon breakfast at home, followed up with a bus trip into central London for Yum Cha. Things got hairy when we tried to find the Cambridge Theatre to go see ‘Chicago’ at 3pm - my map was completely wrong and we ended up running through the streets of Soho trying to drink our Starbuck’s coffee and yelling at each other. Fortunately we made it with five minutes to spare and enjoyed the show.
The show was followed by a quick pint stop, before heading to the Piano Bar at Kensington for a beautiful dinner, wine, and a round of serenading by various accomplished piano men. Great atmosphere, great music and the perfect place for us to celebrate. I’ll be sure to take my girlfriend there.
Tags: food, trish
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Wednesday, August 29th, 2007
We’re back in France and glad. After a few crazy days in Rome seeing the many amazing sights, it was back on the magical bus again and over to La Spezia, which is a quiet little Italian town close to the Cinque Terra (Five Villages), some of the most beautiful coastland I have ever seen in my life. We hiked most of the towns and caught the train for the rest, stopping for a nice pesto pizza lunch and some gelati on the way. 
Italy was wonderful, but I must say I was a little disappointed in the food and sick of pasta, pizza and wine every day. What I’ve really been craving is an ice cold beer and a plate of Thai curry with veges.
Our last few days back in France have been a relief because we’re back in the land of good food. Stale bread and salty pasta can only go so far. Nice is a very pretty coastal town and we wandered around shopping for the first day. The second day (today) we caught the train over to Monaco and walked around Monte Carlo - again, one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been and I was very impressed. Most of the day was spent in the Grace Kelly exhibit which was a little expensive but well worth it. Tomorrow we’re back on the bus again, heading to Avignon to another campsite where I shall seek out more good food and ice cold beer in my worldwide quest for the perfect meal.
Tags: food, super magical trip of joy
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Friday, June 29th, 2007
After a brief email exchange with a work colleague in which I boldly stated, “I’ll give you £1,000 if you can bake me a good ANZAC biscuit”, the little tyke turned up the next day with a freshly baked batch. I was shocked, and gesticulated at him vigorously while I shoved them into my face. Then I promptly refused to give him the £1,000. But that’s not the point of the story. The point is, I like bloody ANZAC biscuits and I never realised I missed them until today.
All the New Zealanders in the office squeaked in delight over their oaty, coconutty, syrupy goodness. Then I realised I was the only Australian in the office and that I would have to fight the New Zealanders for the biscuits. The brotherhood extends only so far, then it’s all-out war, baby.
But C’MON - a population of 4 million versus 21 million? Again, I say C’MON. Those biscuits are ours.
Tags: food
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Friday, December 8th, 2006
IT’S BURRITO TIME!
Tags: food, stuff i write when i'm on the edge of madness
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Wednesday, October 25th, 2006
I’m blogging my pants off today. Maybe I’m just trying to break my own personal record of five posts with no comments. Hooray, nobody reads my blog anymore! I can revert back to my true passion: Recipe tips!
Here is my world-famous recipe for ballcake:
12 x cow balls
2 x wildebeest balls
4 cups of sugar
2 teaspoons of vanilla essence
2 more wildebeest balls
a shitload of eggs
750ml peach schnapps
more eggs
500g shrimp
more balls
The results are ball-achingly delicious! Remember to use top quality shrimp.
Tags: food
Posted in Uncategorized | 11 Comments »
Thursday, May 25th, 2006
3:21pm - I have a Krispy Kreme doughnut sitting here on my desk which I will eat at approximately 4pm. This is a crazy new American doughnut recipe which has some funny icing stuff on it. Finally we have them now in Australia. I will try it and report back to you with the results.
3:24pm - I am looking at the doughnut, thinking about how Americans spell it ‘donut’. Americans are so stupid. They are also very fat, so I’m thinking the donut will be good. I’m giving the donut a 72% chance of being delicious. America is a superpower built on delicious recipes and bloodshed.
3:40pm - The doughnut is looking at me. I can’t get any work done. I think I deserve a taste preview. I think I’ll lick the icing. Mmm, icingy goodness. Chances of deliciousness improve to 78%.
3:45pm - Why are doughnuts named so? Sure, they contain dough, but where are the nuts? I think we should rename them dough-rings, or dough-holes. Dough-holes sounds rude. Heh.
3:48pm - My coffee arrived early, thus I feel I am quite entitled to eat the doughnut early. The first bite reveals a light consistency and a sweet satisfying taste. Original deliciousness estimates were spot on. I lick my lips and continue to gobble.
3:53pm - Time for the dunk test. I like to dunk my doughnuts in coffee.
3:54pm - The dunk was disastrous. The doughnut lacks the heavy consistency required to soak up good amounts of coffee. Between cup and mouth, coffee dribbled all over important documents on my desk. Shitballs. Furthermore, when wet, the icing turns to a disgusting slimy mess. This is not pretty.
3:56pm - The results are in. The doughnut rates highly in deliciousness, however proves ruinous when dunked. Good for non-dunkers, but definitely a bad choice for dunkers. Stay away, dunkers. I reprimand the air with a wiggling finger.
4:15pm - My work colleague, who also tried a Krispy Kreme, complains of chest pains. I start to get worried. My palms start sweating. I experience hallucinations of a large doughnut black hole sucking me into a vortex. Through the haze, I can see that William Shatner is in the vortex. He beckons to me with sticky icing-caked fingers.
2:53am - I wake up under my desk at work with my fingers are in my mouth. I am sweating profusely, and humming “The Magical Mr. Mistoffelees” from Cats. I swear to never eat another American made product again.
Tags: food
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Monday, March 13th, 2006
I’ve decided to take back control of my stomach. I’ve always been a skinny bastard but this is the time of life where bad habits will probably stick with me and cause me to have a beer gut when I’m forty. Recently I’d thrown all caution to the wind and frequented Hungry Jack’s (aka Burger King for you yanks) and McDonalds far too often.
Plus there were some serious chocolate cravings going on which were causing me to seek and destroy large amounts of chocolate after every meal. Usually in the form of our great Aussie national drink, Milo. Making chocolate mud out of Milo was my favourite past-time as a kid.
Apparently, chocolate with a high cocoa content is much better for you. That’s good, because these are my favourite chocolates. Mmm, 70% bitter cocoa. Still can’t handle the 85% stuff yet. But I’ll get there. The good thing is you can probably only handle eating about three pieces in one sitting.
On a sadder note, condolences to Trish and her family as her Grandad died this morning. We will be flying down to the great Australian capital Canberra on Thursday to attend the funeral.
Tags: family, food
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Thursday, November 10th, 2005
Today I have baked beans for lunch. Baked beans are something that I always hated and refused to eat when I was a kid, until I joined the Australian Army Reserve and they forced me to eat them by shouting at me. Then I realised that baked beans were much better than being shouted at and I started to like them.
But eventually one day I got tired of boring old baked beans and I noticed there was a bottle of American mustard nearby, so I decided to squirt mustard all over them just to keep things interesting. I liked the taste and did that for several years.
Recently things have gotten a little boring in our relationship, so I’ve decided to graduate from mild American mustard to hot English mustard, you know the kind that goes up your nose and makes you feel like someone is sucking your brains out through your nostrils.
And that, my little kippers and fried eggs, is the story of why I will shortly be spreading a thick layer of hot mustard on my toast, covering it with baked beans, and shouting loudly in the lunch room.
Tags: food
Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments »
Hello, I'm Afe.
