I decided to spend my allowance this week on pants that are made of gold foil. They crinkle and crackle when I walk, and they attract exactly the kind of attention that I want on the dance floor.

In other news, last month I went here and rented an apartment with all my boyfriends. We drank whiskey and played poker and pointed and laughed at farts. It’s true, farts are funny! Don’t try to deny it.

Then, we went here on a camping trip with family. There was less laughing at farts but more reading and walking and swimming. I drank lots of delicious coffee and bought a flat cap, which is sometimes incorrectly referred to as a derby cap.

INTERESTING FACT  - derby caps taste almost exactly the same as flat caps.

Thus concludes today’s web log. Tune in next week for an interpretive dance of today’s web log, animated using pieces of string and toenail clippings.

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