Archive for 2006

The Afe Awards part Deux (That means two)

Saturday, December 23rd, 2006

Last year I unleashed my favourite books / films / albums of the year upon the world in the 2005 Afe Awards. It was so totally amazingly excellent that I decided to do it again, right now.

Here are the rules. It’s favourite discoveries from the year, regardless of release date.

Movie


Alfred Hitchcock’s Rope (1948) had me by the balls from start to finish, both times I watched it. I watched some pretty bloody good Hitchcock films this year (in fact I watched some pretty incredible films overall) but this was the best. Fascinating story, excellent acting, and a very interesting theme. Jimmy Stewart is der bomb. Technically I think I watched this back in 1997 when I was studying film at Uni but I wasn’t paying attention back then. They also made me watch Citizen Kane and I thought it was shithouse, so my taste has definitely changed since then.

Runner-up for my film of the year is The Philadelphia Story (1940). Yeah, I’m a sucker for old movies, especially if they have Jimmy Stewart in them. The weird-arse trip out Korean movie Oldboy was also in the running.

Book


This is a close one because I think I only read about seven or so books this year. I should be ashamed of myself. Bram Stoker’s Dracula was good, but I think I’ll give the Afe Award to J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye. What an interesting book. Nothing really seemed to happen but it was still fascinating. I’m not kidding.

Album

This was a very good year for me in music. Apart from discovering Bob Dylan I’ve found three albums which I’d now consider to be in my top ten of all time:

Augie March released their third LP, Moo, You Bloody Choir. It’s not their best album, but by Augie standards that still means top notch quality music. They’re still a relatively young band, yet to prove themselves with a couple more albums, but they are certainly the best Australian band. I’d still rate Radiohead as the best active band today though. U2 can lick my balls.

Slightly better than the Augie release came Sufjan Stevens’ colourful folk-pop masterpiece, Come on feel the Illinoise. I’m still not sick of this album. It makes me happy, and sometimes sad. I still make love to it occasionally, too.


But my true favourite of the year is Elliott Smith’s XO. Forget about the skip button, you can just stick this baby in and let it play. The guy was a genius. ‘Nuff said.

Hope you enjoyed this year’s Afe awards. Please return next year and I promise to give you large slices of chocolate cake. Feel free to leave your own favourite books / albums etc. of the year in the comments section. It’s fun, I promise.

I am the Coding Guru

Saturday, December 23rd, 2006

See all that excess coding down the bottom of my blog? That’s there because I WANT IT TO BE THERE. I could easily get rid of it because I’m a web design guru, but I like it there.

Today’s lesson: BLOGGER TEMPLATES THAT HAVE EXCESS CODING AND DON’T WORK PROPERLY ARE COOL.

&*%@$!!

A very special Christmas message

Wednesday, December 20th, 2006

I’ve been learning how to make flash animations! Behold… the fruit of my labour:

I like big butts and I cannot lie

Tuesday, December 19th, 2006


I’m having a big boys reunion tonight! My super good friends Darrin, Jaye and John are all back in town and I am excited. They are all coming to my house for beers and BBQ action. This will be the first time we’ve been together since the end of the Jurassic period. See above for an artist’s impression of what tonight’s BBQ might look like. Jaye and Darrin are about to fight!

Old friends are good fun. I think I’ll borrow lots of money from them and run away overseas.

Ich bin ein Stein, du bist ein weenie

Saturday, December 16th, 2006


Here’s a picture of me. My last name is STEIN which means I come from a long history of Austrian beer drinkers. Therefore it is my conclusion that I must try as many different types of beers as possible before I die.

I made a start last night at a German restaurant which served copious amounts of expensive and delicious beer. The beer made me feel happy inside, then I had some potato soup which made me even happier. The bavarian sausage and sauerkraut delicacy dish made my happiness peak to uncharted levels, which made me feel momentarily scared. Then there was another different beer in my hand and I felt happy again. Then there were some silly hats and singing.

I’m looking forward to my trip. It’s only 18 days til we leave.

P.S. There is a giant storm headed my way! I think I’m going to wee my pants. What do I do?

Goodbye dickhead

Tuesday, December 12th, 2006


We sold our car! We are excitement. This is STAGE A1 PHASE C2 of our escape plan. Now we have $2800 to burn in Europe! That should buy us two coffees and a piece of cake!

I realised we never gave a name to our car, because we never cared about it. Therefore I am giving it the name “Dickhead”. Dickhead was a reliable car, but he had many kilometres and was turning into a piece of crap. Time to offload to a teenager!

Goodbye dickhead, you dickhead!

Our New Years + Goodbye Double Action will make you tremble

Tuesday, December 12th, 2006

Hello ladies & gents,

As you’ll all be aware, Trish and I are heading off into the wide blue yonder on January 3rd. This calls for a celebration of the most gratifying and positively electrifying nature.

Roughly around this time there will also be a celebration known as “New Years Eve” which we also intend on celebrating. So why not roll both celebrations into one? Why not come to our place for a little while on New Year’s Eve? Why not bring beers and fry some meat? Why not, I ask you?

Please consider our offer carefully as you will only get one opportunity. We guarantee many hugs and possibly even trembling ecstacy.

The celebrations will commence at approximately beer o’clock on Sunday the 31st of December. We hope to see many of you there in relaxed and convivial moods, reclining on the verandah of our property while sipping cool and refreshing beverages. Large stretches of carpet will be available to those who find themselves disinclined to operate a motor vehicle at the close of the proceedings.

Love and kisses,

Afe & Trish.

Maybe it’s time I ate something

Sunday, December 10th, 2006

I’m in a very silly mood. I would like to take this opportunity to extend the elongation of my magnificent middle finger to those in this world who are not feeling silly at this present point in time.

Perhaps all this extra working after hours has caused my brain to malfunction. Perhaps I shall walk out of here and forget everything I ever knew, including my ATM pin number, which for the record is 7-8-3-1.

I think I shall go wrap some Christmas presents! That will make everything better!

@!#$$$

Blackbird n Stuff.

Saturday, December 9th, 2006

Apart from eating burritos I’ve been quite productive recently. I’ve been doing web design work which is proving to be very enjoyable. I think I may have found my calling, kids. After 28 years of bumbling around on this planet, doing journalism degrees, packing shelves, servicing laptops, and photographing opals, I think I finally have myself figured out. All I have to do is travel back in time and tell 17 year old Afe to go study web design instead of journalism. But then I wouldn’t have these amazing writting skils!

Next year when I set myself up in the UK with a magical laptop computer and mystical internet access, I will recommence doing my webby design work on the side. Everything I know is self-taught, which is somewhat of a disadvantage, but I am good at figuring shit out, so it’ll all be apples. Warning to the internets: I CAN FIGURE YOUR SHIT OUT.

Blackbird Solutions is doing well. I have set myself up as a hosting reseller which costs me $59 a month. If I get 4 clients on my hosting account then I start making money. Money is handy. I am gradually building the Blackbird website as time permits while I get the business established. I actually got the name for the business from one of my favourite songs, if anybody hadn’t figured out yet that I am a complete Beatles nutter.

The plan next year is to purchase actual professional software, namely Macromedia Studio 8 or possibly even Adobe Creative Suite. But I need a ton of money for that stuff. It’s totally the way of the future though. Then I can do cool-arsed websites like the Augie March site.

I need breakfast.

I’m having BURRITOS!

Friday, December 8th, 2006


IT’S BURRITO TIME!